Thursday, January 16, 2014

that awkward post

...When I haven't been on the blog in a good three weeks. I have good reasons, though.

2014 began with a lot of activity in Chapel Hill. Brandon had what was in my mind a "minor surgery" to have a cyst removed that was bothering him. Turns out, "minor surgery" does not mean "minor recovery" and just now he is getting back to his normal schedule of moving around, going to class, etc. I am so glad that I was able to be there with him through it and even still as he keeps getting better, but it has been hard sometimes.

On the 3rd, I had orientation at a brand new job. I kind of kept quiet that I was leaving my other job on purpose, because for a little bit I wasn't totally sure what was coming next, and if I'm being honest, a little (ok, a lot more than a little) insecure about it. I started working with this amazing family in Chapel Hill in the meantime working as a sort of nanny, mostly personal assistant/chef, and they were a huge blessing. But during December, I got offered a position at the Duke Clinical Research Institute. It's an amazing opportunity. I didn't realize as a student that moving here for love would be totally worth it no matter what I was doing, but that not hating waking up every morning to go to work is really really important too. If you're an undergrad in any sort of situation like that, know that it matters. What you do every day affects your life, your mood, your emotions, your perspective. It seems obvious, maybe I'm the only one who had a hard time understanding that. But there it is. And I feel 1000x better not being so miserable. The commute doesn't suck either. Not one bit.

But I have been BUSY. The past two weeks I have gone from work to my nanny family for a few hours to Brandon for a while, and getting home around 10 every night. They are all good things, and I don't want to complain. Change has always been stressful, ever since I was a little kid. I can remember my parents coaching me through all sorts of change, and I still don't like it always. So the fact that MLK Day is on Monday is totally, totally fine with me. This year is already teaching me some hard, necessary lessons and hit me with some things I couldn't even imagine were going to be hard to deal with. But I am really looking forward to being in my apartment for a while, cooking a dinner that is just for me, and catching up on the things that make my life go a little bit better. Also, my Christmas tree is still up. So it might be time for that to happen.

Jesus has been necessary. But Jesus has also showed up.


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