This is real life guys.
I am actually going to marry Brandon Goodman. Like for realz. There is a diamond ring on my finger. The one knee situation happened. I bawled like a baby. Here is the story.
I have known for a long time that he was the one. Some sources say as early as Valentine's our six month anniversary (2 and a half years ago). Some sources say the moment that I saw him outside my window at Chick fil a that first summer three years ago. Some sources say last fall when we said "I love you" for the first time outside of BNA on what ended up being the most wonderful and difficult Labor Day I have yet to have. Whatever and whenever it was, I have known for a long time. It was the reason why I moved out here, it was the reason I found the job that I did, and I was so grateful to know in my deepest parts that I had found my future husband.
And so, I waited. I don't want to gloss over this part because it was hard for me. After waiting what felt like forever for God to finally give me the job I had been praying for, you would think I would have been more patient and willing to hold on to truth during this period of waiting, but that was unfortunately not the case. I was angsty. I was impatient. I was rude. I didn't understand. And it really took a toll on me and on Brandon for a long time. Until a few weeks ago when we had a really needed conversation. And I realized the extent of my selfishness and the complete lack of faith I had in anything that I knew was going to happen. We healed. I finally learned what it is to be grateful for where you are.
Enter: Nashville. Homecoming. We had bought tickets to go way back when Southwest had a flight sale in June, trusting that I was going to have a job and be flying out of RDU that weekend. At this point, I was still hoping that "it" was going to happen that weekend, but I was also completely content to see friends, spend time at Vandy, be present and enjoy the beautiful city I had missed. We didn't spend a lot of time together until late Saturday afternoon when we went to a friends' wedding. And it was all so lovely. That night, I subconsciously clawed my way for that bouquet, though (and I have the scratches to prove it. Oops). Brandon laughed. I felt a little silly (or a lot silly, actually). The girl I fought it for may or may not have been the grooms' sister. BUT IN MY DEFENSE. It did come right for me. I swear.
So Sunday morning comes. Brandon goes to get ready for this Melodores reunion concert which he had seriously been geeking out about all week between a small throat cold and going over with me all the songs they were going to sing. I was excited, too. The Melodores had been a big part of my college experience, going to all of the shows and even driving 14 hours one time to South Carolina to watch them compete. I went to church excited and weirdly nervous about the day, but assuming it was just because I was about to see a ton of people I hadn't seen in a while.
An hour before the concert was supposed to start, I get a weird one second snapchat from Brandon. It looked like the top of the beautiful cube that he had given me for our three-year anniversary, a gift that he had told me was carved around a small cross that I could hear rattling inside when he gave it to me. It had been sitting on my dresser for the past two months, and my heart started racing for no apparent reason when I got that picture, so I tried to ignore it. Surely it wasn't going to happen today.
I kept feeling weird and nervous all the way up until we arrived at Alumni Hall for the event, and tried taking sips of water to calm my stomach as the Melodores each got introduced and shared their favorite memory from the group. It helped, and when each generation started their musical selections, I really started to relax and enjoy myself. It was so fun to hear how the group had changed and evolved, and the music was so awesome.
The last song of the set was their alumni song, "And So It Goes" by Billy Joel. It is so beautiful, and I always tear up every concert when they sing it. And then Brandon stepped out from the group, and started to speak. My heart started POUNDING. He thanked everyone who was there, saying that the Melodores were so much more than just the group, but also the support of our family, friends, and girlfriends. I started freaking out big time. He paused for a second too long, and someone else said quietly, "And so we have one more song".
The second that he started singing, I 100% lost it. I can't even begin to explain all of the emotions that went into those tears: happiness, relief, unbelievable amounts of grace and love being poured out on me with every word. It was the biggest desire of my heart, and it was coming true with the man of my dreams, as he sang a song that he sang to me three summers ago before we even started dating, a song that had become our song. I tried to be completely in the moment (a la Leslie Knope). I wasn't even paying attention to anything or anyone else in the room in those brief minutes. I could not hold together my thankfulness, my love for that moment. I ugly cried so hard, and I was so incredibly grateful. He took that box he had given me two months ago out of his pocket, opened up a side and slid out a ring from a drawer inside. The sight of it literally took my breath away, and I lost it all over again.
He got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him. And through ugly sobs I said yes and pulled him to his feet. I tried to get my promise ring off of my finger and only got half way before he kissed me and just held me for a few seconds. A few precious seconds. When I turned around and ran off stage into the arms of my friends, I saw that they were all in tears, and I proceeded to have the most surreal 20 minutes of my life hugging and crying and taking pictures and staring at this ring on my finger.
It turns out, he had put that ring in that box two months before, and I had had it all along. He just had to wait for the perfect moment to give it to me. He had been ready for a long time.
We are over the moon excited to be getting married, and I am trying so hard to revel in these perfect moments before the craziness begins and I actually get to plan my WEDDING!
For the past 48 hours, this resounding song has been stuck in my head. It speaks to the words that I wish my heart could really write:
The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell.
It goes beyond the highest star
And reaches to the lowest hell.
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled
And pardoned from his sin.
O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints’ and angels’ song.
Congratulations, sweet girl!
ReplyDeleteguuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuushhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
ReplyDelete(love those pics from the wedding....mmm who took those!? ;)