We're engaged!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is real life guys.

I am actually going to marry Brandon Goodman. Like for realz. There is a diamond ring on my finger. The one knee situation happened. I bawled like a baby. Here is the story.

I have known for a long time that he was the one. Some sources say as early as Valentine's our six month anniversary (2 and a half years ago). Some sources say the moment that I saw him outside my window at Chick fil a that first summer three years ago. Some sources say last fall when we said "I love you" for the first time outside of BNA on what ended up being the most wonderful and difficult Labor Day I have yet to have. Whatever and whenever it was, I have known for a long time. It was the reason why I moved out here, it was the reason I found the job that I did, and I was so grateful to know in my deepest parts that I had found my future husband.

And so, I waited. I don't want to gloss over this part because it was hard for me. After waiting what felt like forever for God to finally give me the job I had been praying for, you would think I would have been more patient and willing to hold on to truth during this period of waiting, but that was unfortunately not the case. I was angsty. I was impatient. I was rude. I didn't understand. And it really took a toll on me and on Brandon for a long time. Until a few weeks ago when we had a really needed conversation. And I realized the extent of my selfishness and the complete lack of faith I had in anything that I knew was going to happen. We healed. I finally learned what it is to be grateful for where you are.

Enter: Nashville. Homecoming. We had bought tickets to go way back when Southwest had a flight sale in June, trusting that I was going to have a job and be flying out of RDU that weekend. At this point, I was still hoping that "it" was going to happen that weekend, but I was also completely content to see friends, spend time at Vandy, be present and enjoy the beautiful city I had missed. We didn't spend a lot of time together until late Saturday afternoon when we went to a friends' wedding. And it was all so lovely. That night, I subconsciously clawed my way for that bouquet, though (and I have the scratches to prove it. Oops). Brandon laughed. I felt a little silly (or a lot silly, actually). The girl I fought it for may or may not have been the grooms' sister. BUT IN MY DEFENSE. It did come right for me. I swear.

So Sunday morning comes. Brandon goes to get ready for this Melodores reunion concert which he had seriously been geeking out about all week between a small throat cold and going over with me all the songs they were going to sing. I was excited, too. The Melodores had been a big part of my college experience, going to all of the shows and even driving 14 hours one time to South Carolina to watch them compete. I went to church excited and weirdly nervous about the day, but assuming it was just because I was about to see a ton of people I hadn't seen in a while.

An hour before the concert was supposed to start, I get a weird one second snapchat from Brandon. It looked like the top of the beautiful cube that he had given me for our three-year anniversary, a gift that he had told me was carved around a small cross that I could hear rattling inside when he gave it to me. It had been sitting on my dresser for the past two months, and my heart started racing for no apparent reason when I got that picture, so I tried to ignore it. Surely it wasn't going to happen today.

I kept feeling weird and nervous all the way up until we arrived at Alumni Hall for the event, and tried taking sips of water to calm my stomach as the Melodores each got introduced and shared their favorite memory from the group. It helped, and when each generation started their musical selections, I really started to relax and enjoy myself. It was so fun to hear how the group had changed and evolved, and the music was so awesome.

The last song of the set was their alumni song, "And So It Goes" by Billy Joel. It is so beautiful, and I always tear up every concert when they sing it. And then Brandon stepped out from the group, and started to speak. My heart started POUNDING. He thanked everyone who was there, saying that the Melodores were so much more than just the group, but also the support of our family, friends, and girlfriends. I started freaking out big time. He paused for a second too long, and someone else said quietly, "And so we have one more song".

The second that he started singing, I 100% lost it. I can't even begin to explain all of the emotions that went into those tears: happiness, relief, unbelievable amounts of grace and love being poured out on me with every word. It was the biggest desire of my heart, and it was coming true with the man of my dreams, as he sang a song that he sang to me three summers ago before we even started dating, a song that had become our song. I tried to be completely in the moment (a la Leslie Knope). I wasn't even paying attention to anything or anyone else in the room in those brief minutes. I could not hold together my thankfulness, my love for that moment. I ugly cried so hard, and I was so incredibly grateful. He took that box he had given me two months ago out of his pocket, opened up a side and slid out a ring from a drawer inside. The sight of it literally took my breath away, and I lost it all over again.

He got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him. And through ugly sobs I said yes and pulled him to his feet. I tried to get my promise ring off of my finger and only got half way before he kissed me and just held me for a few seconds. A few precious seconds. When I turned around and ran off stage into the arms of my friends, I saw that they were all in tears, and I proceeded to have the most surreal 20 minutes of my life hugging and crying and taking pictures and staring at this ring on my finger.

It turns out, he had put that ring in that box two months before, and I had had it all along. He just had to wait for the perfect moment to give it to me. He had been ready for a long time.

We are over the moon excited to be getting married, and I am trying so hard to revel in these perfect moments before the craziness begins and I actually get to plan my WEDDING!

For the past 48 hours, this resounding song has been stuck in my head. It speaks to the words that I wish my heart could really write:

The love of God is greater far

  Than tongue or pen can ever tell.

It goes beyond the highest star

  And reaches to the lowest hell.

The guilty pair, bowed down with care,

  God gave His Son to win;

His erring child He reconciled

  And pardoned from his sin.

O love of God, how rich and pure!

  How measureless and strong!

It shall forevermore endure

    The saints’ and angels’ song.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
  And were the skies of parchment made;
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
  And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
  Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
  Though stretched from sky to sky.

O love of God, how rich and pure!
  How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
    The saints’ and angels’ song.

Praising Jesus, and living in these moments so completely in love,

Abby

UPDATE: If you want to see a video of our proposal that our good friend put together for us, click HERE! 

nashville, and other drugs

Nashville. It has my heart.

I was so reminded of this when we took a trip with a great group of friends a few weeks ago back for the first time since I graduated. It was so bittersweet! So fun to show our friends from Chapel Hill the city that we love for the first time, so wonderful to remember why we loved it, and so sad when we had to go back to real life afterwards.

While I didn't get to see everyone that I wanted to this trip that I had planned, there were some super special moments and I am so glad we made the impulse decision to go. Just makes me that more excited to go back in less than a month for homecoming! :)

 we heart the gulch. 

And now, back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

xoxo. Abby

august.

A few snapshots from my life recently. 

1/2: I got an iPad case! It is so gorgeous and you can find the brand here. 

3: Brandon came back from a week-long trip to Mexico with beautiful presents.

4: Craigslist adventures continue with this 1970's Goodform chair. Can't wait to keep slowly adding to our space!

5: A sweet man at my local Kroger was going around handing flowers out to people waiting to check out. Totally made my day. 

So many fun adventures for the next month and a half are in the works! One (maybe two?) trips to Nashville, settling in adventures, friend adventures, and possibly puppy adventures?? Can't handle all this goodness and can't wait to share it all as it unfolds.

Here's to what's ahead,

Abby

gettin' it back. (the new normal)

How is it Sunday night already? Wasn't it Saturday morning about two seconds ago?

Weekends seem to go really fast when Monday morning comes so early, that's for sure. But you will never hear me complain about my job. I am eternally grateful for it and cherish the people there more than I thought I would after just two weeks of working.

SO MANY things have been going on lately! First, let me apologize for the abismal amount of posting I have been doing recently. It's a long story but my apartment still is internet-less and so every time I want to use the internet I have to go to Starbucks or Brandon's apartment. So please don't think to yourself, "Oh Abby, now that she's working full-time she is forgetting us." False. I miss this little space on the internet and plan to blog as much as I did when I was unemployed (if not more, because now my life is actually interesting). Things have just been a little crazy.

As a snapshot, in the past two weeks I moved into my new apartment, bought a car, traveled out of state for a wedding, and spent all of my work days training to take over my position at work from the girl who has left the position. There have been very very stressful moments in there, and I am so glad to be moving forward. Getting settled. Gettin' back into the groove of a new normal.

Here are some snapshots of my life the past two weeks!

boxes on boxes on boxes

garage sale finds! love this funky journal.

the messy bun is so awesome for weekends when I no longer care about polished hair (18/52)

And finally, some bare bones shots of the apartment! Soooo much decorating will be done soon. My awesome roommate's mom just so happens to work at an antique store so we are going to have all the goodies!

It's hard to tell, but my room is going to be cozy and very dark, so I have a feeling that my drafting table corner is going to be one of my favorite spots in the apartment. 

Here's to settling in and bed in half an hour. :)

xoxo. Abby

16/52 (A POST ON LEARNING TO WAIT)

16/52

The past year of my life has had its challenges. Being in a long distance relationship and trying to land my first job after college were two of the big ones. It's a big, wide world out there, but I was trying to find a job in just one little piece of it. That was the hard part. 

I didn't really start to worry too much about the job hunt until my second semester. By that time, a quite few of my friends had landed jobs at big corporations or had accepted positions at places they had interned. And there I was, looking for entry-level positions in a place where I knew only one person, and as I searched we were 500 miles apart. I applied, and applied, and applied. I sent my application out to places I was overqualified to work for, even as a new college grad, and plenty of places that were reaches. I emailed, I cold called, I followed up with anyone I ever knew who had a job or connection or family member in Chapel Hill. I promised myself, and Brandon, that I would definitely be employed by April. And when April rolled around, I promised myself, and started pleading with God, to be employed by graduation. 

When graduation rolled around and I found myself with no job yet, I was deeply unhappy. This job, wherever it would be, was in my mind the key to all of the pieces of my life that I wanted to fall into place. I started shopping for professional outfits I could wear to work. I browsed apartments online and thought about if I'd want a roommate. I looked at cars to see which ones would be in my price range. But none of that could move forward without the job. And the pressure of that fact grew larger and larger until the pressure of it nearly broke me. 

Vanderbilt is not an easy university to graduate from without knowing what is next for you. I know Vanderbilt graduates whose first job was at Time magazine, others who started making $80,000 a year the summer after they graduated. I felt like a failure going home after graduation. I was ready for my life to start, and I was mad at God for making me wait, for what felt like humiliation every time I had to tell someone (which was very frequently) "I'm not totally sure what's next for me." 

This past year and through all of the trials that I went through, I met with a girl named Molly every Thursday morning to catch up on life and study God's word. One scripture that she introduced me to, and that we studied together, was Psalm 27. It struck me as we studied this passage that my "one desire, the one thing that I seek" (v.4) was not the Lord, or to be in His presence. It was to have life move at the pace I desired, and to go the direction I desired. In so many areas of my life, I was finding it so hard to want that more than anything. 

"Wait for the Lord, be strong and courageous, wait for the Lord." (v. 14) 

But most of all, I was bad at the waiting. I felt like I had been waiting an eternity. I remember one night in particular, after I had come home from a trip to Chapel Hill for a few job interviews in May, when I got the call that I hadn't gotten a job. They had picked someone else. I think that that was my lowest point. My self-esteem, my self-worth, my identity were all so tightly wrapped up in that one person saying "Yes", that I found myself crying in my room, pleading with God to have mercy on me. To just deliver me already out of the loneliness of being home and being unemployed. I had made the ultimate mistake. As Beth Moore puts it, I had given "people the kind of power that only God should yield" over me. And at this point, I reached a point of total surrender where I was able to say, "Not my will, but yours be done."

"Wait for the Lord, be strong and courageous, wait for the Lord."

Well, I didn't wake up the next day with a job offer. Or the next day, or the next day. In fact, after this point, after my complete and total surrender to exhaustion, I went through what could have been the most personal rejections of the whole process. But in that place of surrender, of realizing that my identity was not in fact in what job I held, or who I was dating, or where I was living, or how many times people asked me "what was next for me", that I was able to withstand it, and be ok with the fact that if I could see what was happening and where I was being led from His perspective, I wouldn't be so dismayed. 

The day before I left from Chapel Hill at the beginning of June for another round of interviews, I got unexpectedly sick. I was supposed to have an interview that morning, and luckily, they were able to push it back to the morning before I left. Normally, that type of thing is frowned upon and I knew it probably wasn't scoring me any points, but I couldn't help it. And the interview went really well when I did finally get to go in. I ended up doing some very unusual personality testing for them, and waited all week to hear back from someone at the company. They called, and we set up a video interview for this week. Even though I was miles away in Orlando, they wanted to meet with me. Usually, not living in the area didn't score you any points either, this I knew from experience. And then the video interview went really well. 

That afternoon, they called and said, "We didn't want to make you wait. We'd love to offer you the position."

Wait for the Lord, be strong and courageous, wait for the Lord. 

Out of all of the jobs that I applied to, I know that God had this one picked out for me. He was the one who delivered it to me. This company wasn't even one I had heard of until they reached out to me through Linkedin. And I was so humbled knowing that all of the glory and the praise for landing this job did not belong to me at all, but to the one who is the good giver of ALL things. 

Writing these words, I breathe deeply, knowing that once again, my Savior has proved more faithful that I gave Him credit for, and that He has delivered to me something much better than what I could have achieved on my own terms. 

"I believe that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord, be strong and courageous, wait for the Lord." 

Thanks for letting me share my heart a little bit today, friends.

Lots of love,

Abby

THE WORLD BETTER WATCH OUT CAUSE...

Oh man, guys. It has been quite the journey getting here. There were some days that I lost all hope that I was going to be able to write this post. But because God is good and bigger than I ever give Him credit for, here we are. I'm employed. At a full-time, salaried-with-benefits-legit-kind-of job. And it is something I'm interested in. And interested in growing in. And it is in the same place that my love goes to school.

I am so happy.

More details on this exciting news later, right now I have to go pack! :)

lotsandlots of love from this girl who will only be in Orlando for a little while longer,

Abby

THE FIRST WEEK IN JUNE

June so far is so fun! I've been in Chapel Hill this week since Tuesday after saying goodbye to my mom and sister for the summer (sniff sniff) as they venture out towards Colorado! Besides the aggressive monsooning, it has been wonderful here. Here are just a few photos from my week and what I've been up to.

1/2) I have become a little bit obsessed with embroidery floss. I'll share some of the projects I've been working on soon but for now let's just say OMG COLORS. Speaking of projects, remember how I told you guys I was going to be a part of that Summer Stitching Club? Well my first mini-embroidery is done! And I am so excited to see what else Mollie rolls out for us this summer.

3) I have found the most wonderful lip gloss of all time. And it is Philosophy Pink Frosted Animal Cracker. Get it here.

4) Sweet cherries. Summertime. Yes.

5) Spending time with this one at Straw Valley workin' on ABAN projects and memorizing menus is one of my favorite things.

What have y'all been up to this week?

xox. Abby

#SHEREADSTRUTH

About six months ago, I got introduced to a little community called #SheReadsTruth. The idea was simple: women reading the Bible together, learning together, growing together. Today, #SheReadsTruth celebrates its one-year anniversary, and I am so excited to celebrate with them today. While I would love to do a video, our home is a little crazy today after a 5k and preparing our house for a church intern to come and live with us for the summer, so instead, I'll just say this:

#SheReadsTruth has really challenged me spiritually in a spiritually challenging year. (Does that make sense?) There were a lot of times this past year where I began to doubt God's goodness and his sovereignty in orchestrating different circumstances in my life, from the job search to being in a long-distance relationship with a very busy first year med student, to figuring out what I really wanted out of life after my last year of college was over. I am thankful for the women of #SheReadsTruth sharing their struggles and their life right alongside mine (even when I didn't feel like sharing) and for getting me out of my comfort zone in studying the Old Testament! Let's just say there's a very slim chance that I would have studied Nehemiah on my own this spring. (Note: it's actually pretty boss and you should check it out for yourself)

So THANK YOU to Raechel and all of the women who decided to make #SheReadsTruth a place to come and meet with God this year. Can't wait to see what is in store for this awesome community and if you want to check it out for yourself, click here and see what this community has been for so many other women as well.

Happy June!

Abby

ENJOYING THE PROCESS

13/52

This week, I've been trying to learn to appreciate the process of what it is taking to get my life where it needs to be. It is, after all, what this blog is all about. Doing small things, detail things, process-y things, with great love, and great intention. Writing letters, editing on Photoshop, cleaning my room. It's these little things that are making up the important parts of my life right now, and I want to pay attention to them.

ALSO making another trip to Chapel Hill this upcoming week and hoping it will be my last until I am moved up there permanently! Lots of things still need to be figured out, but I am grateful, and hopeful. 

Wishing you a great weekend!

Abby 

MEMORIAL WEEKEND (IN IPHONE PHOTOS)

Hey frandz.

You ever have those moments in your life where a lot of stuff seems to be going wrong? And there seem to be a lot of unanswered prayers in your life, but in the midst of all of those, God is just blessing the snot out of you?

Well that's what happened to me this weekend. Tough week ---> stinkin' blessed.

While I'm not sure I'd ever want to live in Orlando permanently again, this city has its cool places to go (besides the theme parks, duh). One of my frequent haunts in high school was Park Ave CD's. Thursday night, I wasn't really feeling like doing much but my sister dragged me over there to go to a live in-store performance of a band she had heard open for Two Door Cinema Club a while back. And when the band started playing, I was really glad that I got out of the house and went. It was really fun and reminded me of how much I used to be obsessed with indie music (and let's be honest, I still am a little bit). I also scored the new She & Him album while I was there! Yes! As if I couldn't love Zooey Deschanel any more. It sounds like summer in the 1950's, and I love it.

On Saturday when the weather was good, my mom and I went and got Slurpees down the street! I haven't had a Slurpee in for-ever and lemme say, they are more delicious than I remembered. We also stumbled upon a yard sale on the way home and I snagged a boho-inspired skirt and slouchy backpack for -wait for it- $5. Yes folks. I am currently saving for an apartment. And I am winning at it. Saturday was also great because it included some fresh guacamole and snuggles with this munchkin. (Those paws!) 

Sunday was jam-packed and wonderful, thanks to my mom who is really good at keeping my mind off sad things. We woke up ridiculously early and ran a 5k out by New Smyrna Beach. We all wore matching outfits, because we're girls, and the weather was so sunny and beautiful and not too hot. After the race, we packed up and hit the beach! (See above, cute new backpack). And rounded out the afternoon with a tour of the Stetson Mansion. True story, Thomas Edison installed the electricity there in the 1880s. So that's pretty legit. (Also see above, boho skirt.) 

Today the blessings just kept on coming with a mom date to the new Star Trek movie and some lets-actually-dress-like-you're-a-professional shopping and major sales at Loft. Whew. Too good. The little things are really being a place of happiness and of big blessing recently and I could not be more thankful about it. 

Lots of things are still in the works, and I could not be happier to say that I also have accepted a part-time internship with A Ban Against Neglect for the summer! I'll be working mostly from Orlando with some trips to Chapel Hill mixed in, but I have known and loved about this organization since they partnered with Thistle Farms for one of their projects (seen here) and so to be a part of their team is just too cool for words. 

Also also, if you live in Nashville and you have not gotten a chance to go to the brand new Thistle Stop Cafe, you should probably drop everything and go right now (if it's before 2 PM). Then text me about it and make me really jealous, please. 

That was a lot, but I'd love to know how you all spent your Memorial Weekends! And of course, thanks to the men and women who make our country free, and continue to do so every day. 

lovelovelove,

Abby

GRADUATION

This Friday, my whole family (including a surprise brother! Thanks Adam!) flew/drove/made it to Nashville to celebrate the end of my undergraduate career and the start of a new adventure: my post-grad life. The days leading up to the big day were hectic: lots of packing, lots of squeezing in lasts and lots of praying for good weather. Graduation day itself seemed just as hectic, but in a totally different sense. It was a blur of about fifteen hundred undergraduate names, hundreds (literally) of pictures, and lots of laughter, all laced with the realization that this is really the end of my life as I know it.

I know that my life will go on to be so much bigger, so much crazier, than my four years that I have spent at Vanderbilt, but for now I just want to spend some time being grateful about the past instead of obsessing about the future. Thinking about the girl that I was coming into school August 2009, it is truly only through the work of a gracious Savior that I am the woman that I am today. A woman of purpose, a woman who has learned what it means to struggle and trust and live faithfully, who tries to live selflessly and understand things that are bigger than herself.

For the next few days, I just want to spend some time resting in a good God. Life isn't slowing down, but it is now more than ever a priority I'm making.

Lots of love from a proud sister ready to watch her brother graduate tomorrow,

Abby