so now we're getting married!

And so it begins. :)

The past three weeks have been quite the whirlwind. And I first want to say thank you to every friend and person who reached out to say congratulations. I tried to respond to as many as I could, and I'm sorry if I didn't get back to you right away! 

a super sweet bachelorette cupcake from a dear friend :)

I have been so overwhelmed with all of the love and help and just general wonderfulness that has been poured out on us so far in celebrating being engaged and now planning this wedding. It is a time of HUGE transition but all in the best way (although I can totally understand now how being a wedding planner could be a full-time career). I have heard from a bunch of people that the first few months are the most stressful, and then it slows down, and then gets crazy again!

Because I've been spending so much time on Pinterest recently for wedding things, I have also been finally making some of the recipes that I have had pinned for forever. I'll hopefully be sharing some of these very soon! Some have definitely been bigger successes than others.

Life is still moving at a fast pace but I'm excited to keep on sharing this unique time. Please pray for us as we are making big decisions about our big day and are going through lots of personal transitions too!

More later,

xoxo

Abby

We're engaged!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is real life guys.

I am actually going to marry Brandon Goodman. Like for realz. There is a diamond ring on my finger. The one knee situation happened. I bawled like a baby. Here is the story.

I have known for a long time that he was the one. Some sources say as early as Valentine's our six month anniversary (2 and a half years ago). Some sources say the moment that I saw him outside my window at Chick fil a that first summer three years ago. Some sources say last fall when we said "I love you" for the first time outside of BNA on what ended up being the most wonderful and difficult Labor Day I have yet to have. Whatever and whenever it was, I have known for a long time. It was the reason why I moved out here, it was the reason I found the job that I did, and I was so grateful to know in my deepest parts that I had found my future husband.

And so, I waited. I don't want to gloss over this part because it was hard for me. After waiting what felt like forever for God to finally give me the job I had been praying for, you would think I would have been more patient and willing to hold on to truth during this period of waiting, but that was unfortunately not the case. I was angsty. I was impatient. I was rude. I didn't understand. And it really took a toll on me and on Brandon for a long time. Until a few weeks ago when we had a really needed conversation. And I realized the extent of my selfishness and the complete lack of faith I had in anything that I knew was going to happen. We healed. I finally learned what it is to be grateful for where you are.

Enter: Nashville. Homecoming. We had bought tickets to go way back when Southwest had a flight sale in June, trusting that I was going to have a job and be flying out of RDU that weekend. At this point, I was still hoping that "it" was going to happen that weekend, but I was also completely content to see friends, spend time at Vandy, be present and enjoy the beautiful city I had missed. We didn't spend a lot of time together until late Saturday afternoon when we went to a friends' wedding. And it was all so lovely. That night, I subconsciously clawed my way for that bouquet, though (and I have the scratches to prove it. Oops). Brandon laughed. I felt a little silly (or a lot silly, actually). The girl I fought it for may or may not have been the grooms' sister. BUT IN MY DEFENSE. It did come right for me. I swear.

So Sunday morning comes. Brandon goes to get ready for this Melodores reunion concert which he had seriously been geeking out about all week between a small throat cold and going over with me all the songs they were going to sing. I was excited, too. The Melodores had been a big part of my college experience, going to all of the shows and even driving 14 hours one time to South Carolina to watch them compete. I went to church excited and weirdly nervous about the day, but assuming it was just because I was about to see a ton of people I hadn't seen in a while.

An hour before the concert was supposed to start, I get a weird one second snapchat from Brandon. It looked like the top of the beautiful cube that he had given me for our three-year anniversary, a gift that he had told me was carved around a small cross that I could hear rattling inside when he gave it to me. It had been sitting on my dresser for the past two months, and my heart started racing for no apparent reason when I got that picture, so I tried to ignore it. Surely it wasn't going to happen today.

I kept feeling weird and nervous all the way up until we arrived at Alumni Hall for the event, and tried taking sips of water to calm my stomach as the Melodores each got introduced and shared their favorite memory from the group. It helped, and when each generation started their musical selections, I really started to relax and enjoy myself. It was so fun to hear how the group had changed and evolved, and the music was so awesome.

The last song of the set was their alumni song, "And So It Goes" by Billy Joel. It is so beautiful, and I always tear up every concert when they sing it. And then Brandon stepped out from the group, and started to speak. My heart started POUNDING. He thanked everyone who was there, saying that the Melodores were so much more than just the group, but also the support of our family, friends, and girlfriends. I started freaking out big time. He paused for a second too long, and someone else said quietly, "And so we have one more song".

The second that he started singing, I 100% lost it. I can't even begin to explain all of the emotions that went into those tears: happiness, relief, unbelievable amounts of grace and love being poured out on me with every word. It was the biggest desire of my heart, and it was coming true with the man of my dreams, as he sang a song that he sang to me three summers ago before we even started dating, a song that had become our song. I tried to be completely in the moment (a la Leslie Knope). I wasn't even paying attention to anything or anyone else in the room in those brief minutes. I could not hold together my thankfulness, my love for that moment. I ugly cried so hard, and I was so incredibly grateful. He took that box he had given me two months ago out of his pocket, opened up a side and slid out a ring from a drawer inside. The sight of it literally took my breath away, and I lost it all over again.

He got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him. And through ugly sobs I said yes and pulled him to his feet. I tried to get my promise ring off of my finger and only got half way before he kissed me and just held me for a few seconds. A few precious seconds. When I turned around and ran off stage into the arms of my friends, I saw that they were all in tears, and I proceeded to have the most surreal 20 minutes of my life hugging and crying and taking pictures and staring at this ring on my finger.

It turns out, he had put that ring in that box two months before, and I had had it all along. He just had to wait for the perfect moment to give it to me. He had been ready for a long time.

We are over the moon excited to be getting married, and I am trying so hard to revel in these perfect moments before the craziness begins and I actually get to plan my WEDDING!

For the past 48 hours, this resounding song has been stuck in my head. It speaks to the words that I wish my heart could really write:

The love of God is greater far

  Than tongue or pen can ever tell.

It goes beyond the highest star

  And reaches to the lowest hell.

The guilty pair, bowed down with care,

  God gave His Son to win;

His erring child He reconciled

  And pardoned from his sin.

O love of God, how rich and pure!

  How measureless and strong!

It shall forevermore endure

    The saints’ and angels’ song.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
  And were the skies of parchment made;
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
  And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
  Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
  Though stretched from sky to sky.

O love of God, how rich and pure!
  How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
    The saints’ and angels’ song.

Praising Jesus, and living in these moments so completely in love,

Abby

UPDATE: If you want to see a video of our proposal that our good friend put together for us, click HERE! 

16/52 (A POST ON LEARNING TO WAIT)

16/52

The past year of my life has had its challenges. Being in a long distance relationship and trying to land my first job after college were two of the big ones. It's a big, wide world out there, but I was trying to find a job in just one little piece of it. That was the hard part. 

I didn't really start to worry too much about the job hunt until my second semester. By that time, a quite few of my friends had landed jobs at big corporations or had accepted positions at places they had interned. And there I was, looking for entry-level positions in a place where I knew only one person, and as I searched we were 500 miles apart. I applied, and applied, and applied. I sent my application out to places I was overqualified to work for, even as a new college grad, and plenty of places that were reaches. I emailed, I cold called, I followed up with anyone I ever knew who had a job or connection or family member in Chapel Hill. I promised myself, and Brandon, that I would definitely be employed by April. And when April rolled around, I promised myself, and started pleading with God, to be employed by graduation. 

When graduation rolled around and I found myself with no job yet, I was deeply unhappy. This job, wherever it would be, was in my mind the key to all of the pieces of my life that I wanted to fall into place. I started shopping for professional outfits I could wear to work. I browsed apartments online and thought about if I'd want a roommate. I looked at cars to see which ones would be in my price range. But none of that could move forward without the job. And the pressure of that fact grew larger and larger until the pressure of it nearly broke me. 

Vanderbilt is not an easy university to graduate from without knowing what is next for you. I know Vanderbilt graduates whose first job was at Time magazine, others who started making $80,000 a year the summer after they graduated. I felt like a failure going home after graduation. I was ready for my life to start, and I was mad at God for making me wait, for what felt like humiliation every time I had to tell someone (which was very frequently) "I'm not totally sure what's next for me." 

This past year and through all of the trials that I went through, I met with a girl named Molly every Thursday morning to catch up on life and study God's word. One scripture that she introduced me to, and that we studied together, was Psalm 27. It struck me as we studied this passage that my "one desire, the one thing that I seek" (v.4) was not the Lord, or to be in His presence. It was to have life move at the pace I desired, and to go the direction I desired. In so many areas of my life, I was finding it so hard to want that more than anything. 

"Wait for the Lord, be strong and courageous, wait for the Lord." (v. 14) 

But most of all, I was bad at the waiting. I felt like I had been waiting an eternity. I remember one night in particular, after I had come home from a trip to Chapel Hill for a few job interviews in May, when I got the call that I hadn't gotten a job. They had picked someone else. I think that that was my lowest point. My self-esteem, my self-worth, my identity were all so tightly wrapped up in that one person saying "Yes", that I found myself crying in my room, pleading with God to have mercy on me. To just deliver me already out of the loneliness of being home and being unemployed. I had made the ultimate mistake. As Beth Moore puts it, I had given "people the kind of power that only God should yield" over me. And at this point, I reached a point of total surrender where I was able to say, "Not my will, but yours be done."

"Wait for the Lord, be strong and courageous, wait for the Lord."

Well, I didn't wake up the next day with a job offer. Or the next day, or the next day. In fact, after this point, after my complete and total surrender to exhaustion, I went through what could have been the most personal rejections of the whole process. But in that place of surrender, of realizing that my identity was not in fact in what job I held, or who I was dating, or where I was living, or how many times people asked me "what was next for me", that I was able to withstand it, and be ok with the fact that if I could see what was happening and where I was being led from His perspective, I wouldn't be so dismayed. 

The day before I left from Chapel Hill at the beginning of June for another round of interviews, I got unexpectedly sick. I was supposed to have an interview that morning, and luckily, they were able to push it back to the morning before I left. Normally, that type of thing is frowned upon and I knew it probably wasn't scoring me any points, but I couldn't help it. And the interview went really well when I did finally get to go in. I ended up doing some very unusual personality testing for them, and waited all week to hear back from someone at the company. They called, and we set up a video interview for this week. Even though I was miles away in Orlando, they wanted to meet with me. Usually, not living in the area didn't score you any points either, this I knew from experience. And then the video interview went really well. 

That afternoon, they called and said, "We didn't want to make you wait. We'd love to offer you the position."

Wait for the Lord, be strong and courageous, wait for the Lord. 

Out of all of the jobs that I applied to, I know that God had this one picked out for me. He was the one who delivered it to me. This company wasn't even one I had heard of until they reached out to me through Linkedin. And I was so humbled knowing that all of the glory and the praise for landing this job did not belong to me at all, but to the one who is the good giver of ALL things. 

Writing these words, I breathe deeply, knowing that once again, my Savior has proved more faithful that I gave Him credit for, and that He has delivered to me something much better than what I could have achieved on my own terms. 

"I believe that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord, be strong and courageous, wait for the Lord." 

Thanks for letting me share my heart a little bit today, friends.

Lots of love,

Abby

THE WORLD BETTER WATCH OUT CAUSE...

Oh man, guys. It has been quite the journey getting here. There were some days that I lost all hope that I was going to be able to write this post. But because God is good and bigger than I ever give Him credit for, here we are. I'm employed. At a full-time, salaried-with-benefits-legit-kind-of job. And it is something I'm interested in. And interested in growing in. And it is in the same place that my love goes to school.

I am so happy.

More details on this exciting news later, right now I have to go pack! :)

lotsandlots of love from this girl who will only be in Orlando for a little while longer,

Abby

#SHEREADSTRUTH

About six months ago, I got introduced to a little community called #SheReadsTruth. The idea was simple: women reading the Bible together, learning together, growing together. Today, #SheReadsTruth celebrates its one-year anniversary, and I am so excited to celebrate with them today. While I would love to do a video, our home is a little crazy today after a 5k and preparing our house for a church intern to come and live with us for the summer, so instead, I'll just say this:

#SheReadsTruth has really challenged me spiritually in a spiritually challenging year. (Does that make sense?) There were a lot of times this past year where I began to doubt God's goodness and his sovereignty in orchestrating different circumstances in my life, from the job search to being in a long-distance relationship with a very busy first year med student, to figuring out what I really wanted out of life after my last year of college was over. I am thankful for the women of #SheReadsTruth sharing their struggles and their life right alongside mine (even when I didn't feel like sharing) and for getting me out of my comfort zone in studying the Old Testament! Let's just say there's a very slim chance that I would have studied Nehemiah on my own this spring. (Note: it's actually pretty boss and you should check it out for yourself)

So THANK YOU to Raechel and all of the women who decided to make #SheReadsTruth a place to come and meet with God this year. Can't wait to see what is in store for this awesome community and if you want to check it out for yourself, click here and see what this community has been for so many other women as well.

Happy June!

Abby

SUNDAY MORNING

Sunday morning this morning looks like a big bowl of Malt o Meal and some idea generation. It's full of list-making, goal-setting, and resting in good truth. 

Journal/Rifle Paper Co. 

Today is a good rest day after a lot of hard work on our back porch yesterday, which now has a ceiling!  Our family is real lucky to have lots of great friends who are willing to come and help us out on projects like that, and it's going to look great when it gets finished.

Can't wait to share some fun stuff that I have lined up for this week!

Happy Sunday,

Abby